In my creative writing class, the professor asked us to read the introduction of Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life. It was a beautiful excerpt, filled with details about Lamott's childhood, but I found myself feeling slightly disappointed when she pointed out that getting published was not exactly the solution to all of one's problems. Here is a quote:
"And then I tell my students that the odds of their getting published and of it bringing them financial security, peace of mind, and even joy are probably not that great. Ruin, hysteria, bad skin, unsightly tics, ugly financial problems, maybe; but probably not peace of mind. I tell them that I think they ought to write anyway" (Lamott xxix-xxx).
Now, another thing that she did point out, which is the reason that I am writing this blog post, is that the true joy of writing is the act of writing in itself. Here is another quote:
"Writing has so much to give, so much to teach, so many surprises. That thing you had to force yourself to do---the actual act of writing---turns out to be the best part" (Lamott xxvi).
So, what I retained from this excerpt, as well as the discussion I had with my class today, was that publishing is not where the story begins, and it is certainly not where the story ends. And by story, I mean your story. You do not become a writer only after you get published---you are a writer now, and have always been a writer, if you write. It's as simple as that. And the joy---the true, real joy---comes from writing itself, from the adventures you've been on with your characters, from the days of slamming your head against the desk, turning off your laptop, refusing to look at your own work, writing ideas in your notes at four o'clock in the morning, scribbling in your journal. The joy has been present this entire time.
I always thought that publishing was like my fairy godmother---once it happened, I would be the star of the show (or the ball, in this case), my skin would be cleared, and all my problems would be solved. I would have accomplished my task, and fulfilled my dream. I would have reached the destination.
In the back of my mind, I had a slight fear that once this came true, I would be without a dream. I would have nothing left to work towards. I'd compare it to this scene in Disney's Tangled:
But I see now that the dream is constant, the dream is endless, because the dream is writing itself. And the truth has been here the whole time, staring at me in the face, but I feel like I chose never to see it, because I became so obsessed with publishing that I forgot to acknowledge how much fun I've had over my years of writing. Even if I made mistakes, even if there were times when I cried on the floor after getting a rejection, it was all still part of the process. And it was a wonderful process.
Now, a little disclaimer: I still want to get published. I still would love to be able share my stories with the world and do what writers have done for me---bring people comfort, especially during times of hardship. But the way I see it now is that I've got nothing to lose, because regardless of what happens, the joy of writing is something that will never fade.
And, I must remember to give myself credit for what I've done, and understand that it is not only about the destination, but the journey as well.
I wanted to convey this message to you to remind you that at whatever stage of writing you're at, and whether you have intentions of getting published or not, you should enjoy every second of it. And, you should be proud of how far you've gotten. It's not about being the greatest, or about making millions of dollars off your stories. If that happens, that's amazing, but that's not the only definition of success. Success is getting words onto the paper. Success is thinking of ideas in the shower. Success is simply loving to write.
So, I suppose this could be an answer, or at least part of an answer, to the complicated question: Why do we write? Well, one of the reasons is certainly for joy.
To conclude, this post was not intended to be discouraging in any way. In fact, it was supposed to make you feel more confident in your writing, more proud of what you've done, and, ultimately, to help you to understand that publishing is not your fairy godmother sweeping you off to the ball---rather, your fairy godmother is writing itself, and you've been at the ball this entire time (if that makes sense). Also, the ideas I've discussed in this post were from Anne Lamott; I'm simply sharing them with you and reflecting on their meaning.
I would love it if you commented an answer to this question: Why do we write?
Thank you.
~ Ayishah
Lamott, Anne. Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life. New York, Anchor Books, 1995.